Yeah you’re right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.
i’m gonna make a movie where two normal ladies fall in love. everything’s chill, no age gap, they’re both out of the closet, their families love them, everything’s fine. the catch is that one lady has a cat and the other lady never figured out what the cat’s name was cause the Owner Lesbian ALWAYS uses a dumb nickname and now it’s been three years and they’re getting married and it’s too late to just ask
It’s garnering more and more urgency because the cat’s importance is growing (the cat is going to be the ring bearer, oh no!)
The First Lady asks her fiancé if they should get a fancy collar with the cats name for the wedding and her fiancé throws her arms around her and says “great, would you go do that tomorrow?”
the longer i think about it the more that sounds like a valid conflict to base an entire movie around and the fewer problems i could think of that cant have a solid writing solution available
“Just wanted to confirm the spelling before I gave the order, hun. This shit is costly and I only got one form.”
“Oh, just the normal spelling, no crazy vowels or anything.”
This is so good. Plus it’s not like you can try out likely names and see if the cat responds, like a dog might. It’s a cat. It’s just gonna sit and squint unblinkingly at you regardless, no matter how many names you try.
Plot twist:
It’s not a stupid nickname.
The cat really is “miss kitty.”
Y E S
no no no. the cat doesn’t have a name, the cat owner never decided on one so she just goes with various silly nicknames. but since her fiancée acts like she is aware of the cat’s name, the cat owner assumes the fiancée mistook one of the nicknames for the actual name. but she doesn’t know which! so the cat owner doesn’t know what the supposed cat name is either, and relies on the fiancée revealing it at some point, but it never comes and she’s getting agitated too because she doesn’t want to admit she never named her cat
Hey hey hey in a similar vein to ^^^
What if
Neither if then know the name
Because it’s neither of their cat.
The cat decided to move in about the same time one of the girls did. Both think it’s the other one’s cat. Both are committing these increasingly elaborate shenanigans to figure out the name from the other.
Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!
Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It’s me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here’s the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.
Modern writing advice: Yes your protagonist should have flaws but ultimately we should root for them and like them from the beginning :)
Charles Dickens: Here is the worst ugliest rudest meanest nastiest bitch you’ve ever met in your life.
Modern writing advice: Make sure your POV character goes through a significant arc! Make sure they are changed by the narrative! Make sure they learn a lesson!
Narrators of every book of the 19th century: the lesson I learned is these people fucking suck, sayonara you freaks
Modern writing advice: It’s all about the character overcoming obstacles and learning! They learn their lesson so they can fix their mistakes and make good choices in the future! It’s a character arc! It’s called growth! Readers love it!
Everyone from ancient times through the 19th century: would you like to watch a Guy fuck up twenty times in a row
And if you do get paid for your ideas/writing during the strike, that is considered scabbing and you will be barred from the WGA for life, as per this email from the Blacklist:
And, because a lot of people don’t understand this bit, this is about you selling your ideas or writing to US-based TV studios or movie studios who are part of the AMPTP. There is no strike against book publishers. Nor audiobooks, graphic novels, or poetry publishing. Or just writing.
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